LOVES AND LIFE

(bye bye 2013. please leave us for good things in 2014) my family support banyak sangat tru ups and downs syukur sangat. susah or senang the only thing that i put in me is to survive in any situation. i blaja memang family lah tulang belakang kita nak hadap everything, i love my family so much.

selalu terbayang how will i survive without them because I believe that life is hard. That we all are going to walk through things that are hard and challenging. Thank God i have them.

SAKIT

Sakit bila dikenang Sakit bila diingat Sakit nak diluah Sakit disembunyikan Sakit jugak nak ditahan Sakit yang mungkin susah difaham Sakit perasaan Sakit dengan perubahan Sakit dengan persoalan Sakit kah aku dengan kenyataan Sakit kah aku dengan penerimaan Atau sakit dengan dugaan cabaran Atau sakit dengan segala batasan dan halangan Atau sakit dengan perkataan semalam dan semalam Atau sakit lantaran salah faham Mungkin ku sakit Sakit oleh perasaan sementara Tapi maseh aku sakit. Jangan terus kau hirau. Kau tak akan faham. Sakit mu tak sesakit yang ku slalu tahan Tapi ku sakit ku tetap sayang. Tiada di hati nak dibuang Ku buang perasaan tidak ku buang sayang Akan ku buang rasa sakit tidak ku buang orang Sakit sakit, aku telan. Tanda ku maseh sayang. Biar sakit bersama, nanti ku harap senang Sakit kan hilang, ku berharap pada kuasa 'sayang'

Yûsuf

18. Dan mereka datang membawa baju gamisnya (yang berlumuran ) darah palsu. Dia (Ya'kub) berkata, "Sebenarnya hanya dirimu sendirilah yang memandang baik urusan yang buruk itu; maka hanya bersabar itulah yang terbaik (bagiku) Dan kepada Allah saja memohon pertolongan-Nya terhadap apa yang aku ceritakan." 22. Dan ketika dia telah cukup dewasa Kami berikan kepadanya kekuasaan dan ilmu. Demikianlah Kami memberi balasan kepada orang-orang yang berbuat baik. Rindu pada usrah. Mula kenal usrah lepas study semenanjung Bukan main negatif perasaan pada usrah dulu tapi tahu faham jugak yang bagus join Tapi manusia kejap keinginan berubah2 ekot masa ekot keadaan Macam sekarang rindu, tapi bila diajak masa tulah dia punya hati always rasa busy Alahai.. But one sweet thing yang paling ingat was when I started to turn to Islam before hijrah kepada mula bertudung balek (because masa high school on off) okay very jahil that time, sangat weak dan i chose jalan syaitan but when Allah called me back to Him tersentuhnya hati manusia ni bila manusia yang slalu lupa Dia masa senang, ingat dia masa susah ni, baca quran pun jarang tapi that time i read tafsir nya...ayatnya.. directly tegur dan bagi nasihat. Seems like Allah communicated with me with Quran that time. MasyaAllah. ALLAHUAKBAR. And ofcoz i drama n i cried thinking that sayangnya Tuhan tu dengan aku, eventho macam mana pun He still nak I sedar balek salah silap. Tapi sayang lah sebab tak mark that ayat. but it was my unforgetable feeling masa tu hmm itulah kot yg org kata rindu Tuhan. Semuanya jadi when i got one tips from kakak usrah,and that time I try2 ja pun. And the tips is, If u rasa sedih tak tenang or just suka2 Amik Quran yang memang ada tafsir. Read that page and Try tengok mana2 ayat Ada tak yang ada kaitan with u ureself masa tu If takda pun just try to find ayat yg make u reflect anything on u ureself. If takda jugak turn to another page. Insyallah jumpa, tak jumpa pun its okay. Reading Quran pun boleh buat u tenang. Tak rugi. And today, that moment jadi balek! Bestnya. Amazingly, i x payah bukak any pages, i just read sambungan bacaan sebelum surah Yusuf lepas erm agak jugak lama tak baca. Ya rabbi. There are few ayat make me think and make me feel like Allah tu sentiasa ada for me. menyedarkan, sentiasa tarik balek untuk ingat ingat Dia. Btw surah Yusuf bagus baca buat anak hensem. Yes,tau sudah. Nanti nak baca bia anak jadi macam Jericho Rosales! Hellooo legend okay.. always be my fav pengako sayoooo. followlah my dear punya Instagram jericho_rosales aww becoz he is awet muda and yes, still handsome omaigaaad!sejuk mata memandang my son if muka ala2 jericho waaaaa (Aih sempatt) Ehem Back to ayat2 yg menyentuh hati this morning... I now understand that walau mcm mana best pun sharing your problems with others, Walau macam mana lega pun Allah akan jadi penolong pendengar kita paling best. Dan sabar itu memang paling baik, dan memang lumrah manusia bila bercakap buruk dia rasa dia baik padahal dah buruk cakap buruk. Got it kan? Macam kena tampar angin bila faham. Suddenly rasa hmm yes it is sangat okay and sangat sangat okay untuk always mintak maaf kalau rasa bersalah walaupun some pepel will annoying with us and sangat okay untuk always mengalah dan bersabar. Its okay because ganjaran bersabar inAllah Allah tukarkan dengan rasa tenang lah ofcoz becoz we tak banyak cakap buruk2. esp if melibatkan org. hm yaaaaaa me feel bad now And yes i lagi bermotivasi to always believe when u do good, jadi baik Allah bagi balasan baik jugak. Tidak dari how pepel treat us but from how hati kita rasa. tenang tuuu. Percayalahhh. Allah tu yg awesome. Engkau? Aku? Us? Heh. Awesome jugak tapi awww some things je not all. Tak payah perasan bagus sangat selalu, admit our mistakes. Learn learn and learn to be better everyday. Buat salah piki balek before tido. Reflect. Taubat. Hee. Begitulah yg aku faham konon2 maksud nak ditekan kan. Allah tu perfect so Dia suruh buat baik, suruhan dia memang baik2 why dont we try our best to do so. Ada lah sebab baiknya. jangan ekot perlibahasa buat baik berpada pada buat jahat sekali sekala. Wrong... VERY WRONG. Cakap gurau boleh, buat jangan. Erm jadi bila rasa macam ni I think baguslah this medium alang2 for me to ask and cakap Sori sangat kalau ada kata2 yang menyakitkan hati, perbuatan dan segala yang lahir from me yg buat anyone doesnt feel good about it. Im so sorry. Mintak maaf banyak banyak. Ouh kalau ada terhutang pun please cakap. bcoz pelupa n jarang nak berhutang lama2 sbb takut lupa bayar jadi kalau ada yg mmg lupa inform me. Takut eh. Bila tengah2 maseh rasa ingat sangat hal2 macam ni mula lah piki mati. Takut ada yg tak terlangsai maaf dan hutang segala. Aah, u guys shud feel the same. Bahaya org tak maafkan kita, bahaya hutang2. Oh hoh. Belum tidur. So.... sekian motivasi pagi saya kali ini. Would like to go back to reality! Kemas bilik cuci baju STUDY! dan tiduuuurr aaaaa exam week really buat i bcme bipolar person. So, Try lah the tips. And for those yg exam good luck!do ure best. And pray a lot. salam .

21

Things happened for many reasons Good or bad i took it as hmmmm Lessons? Of course the good one is bonus for me! Whatever it is, 21 years old gave me lots of new things to learn And lovee.. New life,and yes! everyday never get easier, but you sayang.. Ure the reason why i stand strong.. I love you Gee:) Hoping this relationship grow stronger each day in every way:)

crack

I cant pull myself together this time This will be a long nite for me God please help me

Commitment

I bet everyone feels scared of commitment. Of course we did. We will jump into the other us! How confusing it will be.Yes, this leads us to, choices. Part of life i guess. Dare enough to take risk, so you have to deal with the consequences. This is what i learnt almost everyday.  Things that we've planned will never be good enough. Sometimes, it went wrong and only then you realised how far you got lost and fulled with yourself. Mistakes? Regrets? Insecure?  Paranoid? Feeling down on yourself? How to make these go away with no pain ? Girl, its not easy. Took guts and courage to feel me again. They make me learnt to choose; to stay with all those feelings or to wipe it along with tears. I chose to put myself together, kiss them goodbye, head up and try to glue back the broken vase. Cracks will always be there, i know. I just can put flowers in it so they wont notice it. 

when you were my man

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That you should have bought me flowers
And held my hand
Should have gave me all your hours
When you had the chance
Take me to every party
Cause all I wanted to do was dance
But now baby I’m dancing
But I’m dancing with another man

your pride, your ego, your needs, and your selfish ways
Caused a nice young love like me to walk out your life
Now we’ll never, never get to clean up the mess we made
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That you should have bought me flowers
And held my hand
Should have gave me all your hours
When you had the chance
Take me to all parties
Cause all I wanted to do was dance
But now baby I’m dancing
But I’m dancing with another man

Though it hurts
I'll be the first to say I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for the mistakes
But I just want you to know
He buys me flowers
And he holds my hand
And he gives me all his hours
Cause he has the chance
Takes me to all the parties
Cause he remembers how much I love to dance
Does all the things you shoulda done when you were my man

Does all the things you shoulda done when you were my man